23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
(4 days ago that is.)

After 4 years of a less than notable birthday while here at college, I ended up going on a mini-road trip with some of my best guy friends to the New Jersey shore just to break our SONIC fast food virginity. And boy was it good.

We left right after our morning classes at noon in hopes to make in time for happy hour from 2-4pm. It was a beautiful spring day, sun shining and a cool breeze. With a newly purchased bikini on under my T-shirt and shorts, I was hoping to catch some rays and get some color on the sand. I survived the 2.5 hr trip to Waretown, NJ in the backseat between Henry and Chris (Dev up front and Gabe behind the wheel). We drove by the city and through Brooklyn. We played animal noises games. And Dev had the video camera in hand recording the progress of our birthday journey.
We turned into the SONIC with minutes to spare before 4pm and were so overcome with joy that we didn't even know where to begin. We had already planned on making at least 2 stops at SONIC (lunch and dinner!) so we started out with beverages and decided to get out of our car and sit at an outdoor table for our first time. After observing those around us in order to figure out what to do, we put in our order and waited. The waitresses deliver food on ROLLER SKATES. Enough said.

We bought a bottle of wine and drove around for a bit looking for a beachy area to relax for the afternoon and finally settled with a nice park with a playground and gazebo in a residential area. The guys through a baseball around for awhile and I curled up in a blanket at the bottom of the curly slide and just took some time to free my mind. It was awesome.
We soon came to realize that there are no sandy beaches in northern NJ and after making one more stop at SONIC (this time in one of the little parking stop looking menus) we decided to head back to Stony Brook for the night.
It was a nice drive back...though tolls are fucking expensive...and Gabe's GPS led us right through downtown Manhattan. As he whizzed through the NYC traffic and the lights flew by the open windows of the car, I felt like I was in a movie.
I think Henry, Chris and myself all managed to get cozy enough to fall asleep in the backseat and before long we were back in the Sanger parking lot.

It wasn't a birthday filled with cake, cards, and candles...but it was a wonderful day to escape and spend some time with my boys.

Thanks guys, for always being there.

Glow

Glow in the dark puppy.
Seems crazy, but I bet there is a lot of useful ways this can be used in genetic recombination techniques. But even if you don't care about all that geek stuff, it's still pretty neato.

Reflection

Home Sweet Home

Laundry Day

I just threw on my boyfriend's oversized wool sweater, fresh out of the dryer, and it was the perfect clothing choice for this time of the day.
Doing laundry is one of the things at college that serves as a reminder of the fact that we share almost everything here. Bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchens (in most cases), washing machines and dryers. The majority of these things don't ever phase me, but in my fifth year of college and fourth year of living on campus, I've begun to become frustrated with the quality of living I have lately experienced. This is one of the reasons I look forward to getting out of undergrad life.
I haven't had a decent room-mate since Colleen left. Of course she is difficult, near impossible, to compete with as she was and is one of my best friends and the best person I've lived with hands down - but...no one has even come close. Last year I shared my single room and bathroom with a stout South Korean girl who had an unusual obsession with cats, meowed, never left the room, and touched herself while I was less than five feet away. But you know what? I'd take her back in a second because she was harmless. I currently share my space with a petite Indian girl with a sickening pot habit, inability to go to sleep before 4am and who can't seem to keep her side of the room clean no matter what. Oh, and did I mention that her boyfriend has essentially become my third room-mate? He's a hundred times worse.
I vent this here because in reality, I have somehow developed incredible patience towards all of this disorganization and with a mere 4 weeks left in the semester and my time here, I just don't really care about it anymore.

Lots to do today - time to get a move on.

Be your own person.

Livin' the life.

tweenbots

In New York, we are very occupied with getting from one place to another. I wondered: could a human-like object traverse sidewalks and streets along with us, and in so doing, create a narrative about our relationship to space and our willingness to interact with what we find in it? More importantly, how could our actions be seen within a larger context of human connection that emerges from the complexity of the city itself? To answer these questions, I built robots.

Global Warming

The life of a college student.

Comic Life

I've been assigned to make 8-10 comic pages using the computer program Comic Life (designed for MAC, but can be downloaded for PCs as well). I woke up at a resonable time this morning to start getting things done today and I experimented with the software for about 2 hours - it's actually a lot of fun! I'll be posting comic pages for the next week's blog entries. Here is my first one! CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR FULL SIZE COMIC.

Nike has it right.

Stop talking about all the things you should or want to do...and JUST DO IT.

Benjamin Button

What I think is, it’s never too late...or, in my case, too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, start anytime you want...change or stay the same, there aren’t any rules. We can make the best or worst of it...I hope you make the best. I hope you see things that startle you, feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you challenge yourself. I hope you stumble and pick yourself up. I hope you live the life you wanted to...and if you haven’t, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

Voiceless

I lost my voice today.

I never realized how much I liked to talk and how pivotal my voice is to my personality until today.

Now my throat hurts and I have to study for my biochemistry exam this friday until 3am. Goodbye.

Home Stretch

Coming back to Stony Brook after spring break has brought me a new feeling that I never had before throughout college - the next time I move out of my dorm room here on Long Island, I will be a college graduate. I won't ever be moving back in here. With this in mind, I was excited to come back here. One of my good friends and coworkers, Henry, keeps calling it my "last hurrah" and I have definitely noticed myself taking the time this semester to appreciate the amazing people I have met and become close to while here. In the past, I had a difficult time allowing myself to let go once in awhile and pull my head out of my notes and textbooks. I'm still doing well in my classes this semester (and plan to study even harder over the next 5 weeks!) but I feel like a more well-balanced person. I know that graduating college will be similar to graduating high school, and that the majority of relationships made here will be nonexistant or dwindle away after May...BUT I also know that the most important people I developed close ties to here will keep in touch in some way and will be in my life somehow even if it is just an e-mail every now and again or a weekend meetup one time each year. And I'm perfectly okay with that. We all know I don't do well with high-needs friendships. Haha.
So really, all I wanted to spew out of my brain was that I am excited to absorb as much here as I can until May 27th when load up my car at Stony Brook University one last time.

Back on the Island

I made the nine hour quest back to Long Island yesterday...ALL day...
I managed to drag my sad and sleepy butt out of Dan's bed at 6:00am to drive home real quick and catch my dad before he left for work to say my goodbyes. Took me longer than I expected to finish throwing my things into my suitcase and pack my car; meanwhile my mother was busy emptying the water from my fish tank so it would be light enough to carry. I finally gave my mom a hug goodbye at 7:35am and left home. After a quick stop at Tim Horton's (best coffee around, seriously) and filling up my gas tank in Irving at the Indian Reservation, I hopped on the 90 for good.

The drive was long yes, but it wasn't bad at all. I could definitely manage it. And compared to the drive home before break (POURING rain storms the entire drive), it was a piece of cake. I enjoy driving. Alone too. Something about sunshine, open windows and music that clears my mind just a little.

It was a mind blowing thing to get back to school and jet right off to class though - my mind was not all there I'll say that for sure. Haha. My car wasn't even completely unpacked; I basically just brought my fish and tank upstairs to my room as quickly as possible so I could refill it with water and prevent my Romeo from biting the dust. To top off the day, I volunteered myself to be on duty (a 7pm-8:30am committment) and while I can't really complain about it because I asked to do it, being confined in an office for 4 hours didn't help my car cabin fever.

As sad as I was to leave Dan, I hope that it might be one of the last times we have to say goodbye and be 9 hours apart, and I'm glad to be back at school honestly because it's my last hurrah before graduation. Yay run-on sentences.

Support

Local music.

A moment of Zen.

My advice to anyone reading this: Take 15 minutes of your time to just lay somewhere, close your eyes and free your mind. You'd be amazed at how good it feels to let go.

When privacy becomes too exposed...

Came across this article while checking my e-mail and thought it was a funny. Interesting if we think about all the ways our lives are becoming more exposed in this generation. Who knew it would lead to the bathroom too!

Internship Hunting

Although I have recently met with a professor/adviser at college who lifted my spirits and created some optimism in my mind next to my future plans, I still manage to feel overwhelmed when I start hunting for internships. I printed out a list of 5 potential places that are looking for employment for the summer, but I am not really passionate about any of them at this time. Meanwhile, due to the help of a friend rather than any sort of direction from the supposed "Career Center" at school, I have now bookmarked a website with an extensive list of science related summer research opportunities; exciting at first until I realized all of the deadlines for summer ended somewhere between January and March.
I'm spending a good number of hours during this week off of classes editing my resume and finding contacts so that I may send my information and interests via email as soon as possible to companies/organizations directly in hopes that I can get my hands on something worthwhile...I just fear that summer is approaching too quickly and that I have once again waited too long. I'm trying to stay hopeful though - I'll do anything to avoid working a crappy part time, dead end job this summer. No more Applebees pleaseeeee.

WTF indeed.

If you don't know what a "Snuggie" is, be glad you haven't been subjected to the sorry excuse of a product that our society has pumped out. Furthermore, be glad you haven't crossed paths with the sad advertising attempt to make this stupid product marketable. DOWN WITH THE SNUGGIE!

I found a sour patch kid in my back pocket today

Today I sat down to write an entry in my blogging page. Jaws smiled softly in my direction, a gentle act of recognition on the part of a fish I have kept in a small tank for nearly two years. The bond I have developed with this yellow denizen of the water goes beyond the usual camaraderie betwixt woman and fish. I feel as though sometimes Jaws can read my thoughts. His reactions to my moods and emotions betray a far greater intelligence than most perscribe to his species.
I am wearing my pink sunglasses as I type this. A phone vibrates in my pocket, and I am called away from this reminiscence to answer the pleas of friends. Later days, bucko.

One of the boys.

I was undoubtedly a tomboy until about ninth grade. Even then, it wasn't until I had my first real relationship with a boy that I saw myself morphing into a young lady.

By college, I had found an enjoyment in shoe-shopping, wore some kind of makeup nearly every day, and loved an excuse to get all dressed up. I had always held onto my boyish attitude however - the laid back personality, adventurous nature, blunt and sarcastic sense of humor and willingness to talk about just about anything. Don't get me wrong, I still have my most feminine moments. They make their appearances most often in romantic situations or around spiders and other creepy crawly insects (Go ahead and call me a baby...). As an only child, I don't really know why I started out as such a rough and tumble little girl, but I do recognize that half of my best friends during high school were boys and the other half of girls were just tomboyish and punky as me...or was it the other way around? In addition, and you may disagree with this influence at first, I think that the 14+ years that I spent in an ice rink for figure skating practice played a major role too. While you may find it odd that a sport with such a "graceful" and "feminine" reputation may play a part in my tomboyish teenage life, what you don't know is the behind the scenes events of a figure skater at practice or running around her "home rink". Sure, my closest friends at the rink were girls, but when you spend hours on end day in and day out in the same place with the same people, the boys around you start to rub off too. I have so many memories of all of us causing trouble and getting dirty (get your minds out of the gutter pleaaaaseee) with the boys.

The reason I mention all of this is because it was pointed out recently that this very tom-boyish nature that peeks its way out once in awhile may be an attractive characteristic of myself to the males around me. Where is the line between being "one of the boys" and being merely a female friend of a boy - or is there any difference at all? And if it's possible for a girl to really be seen as "one of the boys", is this a quality that males find appealing? Maybe this is an idea that we, as girls, create because we feel that it is so. Thoughts?

Down time.

Spring break is fast approaching and after a stressful start of the week, I could really use a legitimate break. I don't really allow myself much time to relax when I'm at school - though I've been attempting to correct this recipe for mental breakdown this semester as its my last. All the people around me even recognize that I'm a workaholic and for this past Valentine's Day Dan sent me Roller Coaster Tycoon and a short story as outlets to ease my mind.

It's funny because I am a very laid back person and I don't really feel like stress is ever building up until one day it explodes. I think I just choose to ignore it though.

I'm looking forward to catching up on sleep while I am home and spending the majority of my time with Dan at his apartment. I miss my parents too, quite a bit actually, but I know that within 2 days of being in the house again I will want to bang my head against a wall.

I guess I'll leave it at that for now. I'm sure I'll have plenty to write about during break!

Warm weather, but no sun.

I'm driving home for spring break tomorrow and it is supposed to RAIN. Not only rain, and not just a sprinkle, but thunderstorms. The whooooole waaaaayyyyy. Ugh. I was really looking forward to the long drive home this week before I found out it was going to be an annoying rain-stricken commute.
I like driving. Especially when I can hit cruise, roll down the windows and blast my favorite music. In the summer, as I come from a small town in WNY where there isn't always something super duper exciting to do, my friends and I have gotten into the habit of driving for fun. Something about it turns the car into a confessional where we can all just rant about our issues and give advice; nonjudgemental turf. Gas prices are more expensive now of course so this hobby has certainly diminished in its appeal factor...but only because of monetary reasons.
The weather has been warming up though, even if there are going to be thunderstorms. I don't mind the rain when it's warm out. Thunderstorms are cool too. I was just talking about them with a couple friends a few nights ago when we had a brief one here on the island. I don't know what it is about thunder and lightning storms that we find so fascinating. Maybe it's the fact that something so beautiful about nature has the enormous power to fry us like a piece of bacon. You know when you think about it, nature really is awesome.