Roth Regatta 2009

An event hosted by Sanger College.
After a semester of work in planning and preparation, a cancellation and rescheduling due to rain, and a really long day of soggy cardboard boat racing - here are some photos posted on the web from Stony Brook's traditional spring event.

THR 403 Class Interview

STRESS

Finals. I'm feeling it.
8 more days until I can lay out on the beach all afternoon.
I'm hanging in there.

Cap and Gown

I went with Helen to the school bookstore to purchase my cap and gown for graduation today. Despite the sixty dollar decrease in my checking account, it still doesn't feel like I'll never be coming back to school here again...at least as an undergraduate.
We had to create a brief closing film for my media and film criticism class recently and I decided to use mine as a way to say my farewells to Stony Brook and the chapter of my life that is about to end. While the project itself ended up rushed and rather unexciting, the amount of thought that it sparked cannot be put into words. I'm scared yes - but excited and enthralled at the idea of something new and bigger than what I am living now. Congratulations to any other 2009 graduates. Dream big.

23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
(4 days ago that is.)

After 4 years of a less than notable birthday while here at college, I ended up going on a mini-road trip with some of my best guy friends to the New Jersey shore just to break our SONIC fast food virginity. And boy was it good.

We left right after our morning classes at noon in hopes to make in time for happy hour from 2-4pm. It was a beautiful spring day, sun shining and a cool breeze. With a newly purchased bikini on under my T-shirt and shorts, I was hoping to catch some rays and get some color on the sand. I survived the 2.5 hr trip to Waretown, NJ in the backseat between Henry and Chris (Dev up front and Gabe behind the wheel). We drove by the city and through Brooklyn. We played animal noises games. And Dev had the video camera in hand recording the progress of our birthday journey.
We turned into the SONIC with minutes to spare before 4pm and were so overcome with joy that we didn't even know where to begin. We had already planned on making at least 2 stops at SONIC (lunch and dinner!) so we started out with beverages and decided to get out of our car and sit at an outdoor table for our first time. After observing those around us in order to figure out what to do, we put in our order and waited. The waitresses deliver food on ROLLER SKATES. Enough said.

We bought a bottle of wine and drove around for a bit looking for a beachy area to relax for the afternoon and finally settled with a nice park with a playground and gazebo in a residential area. The guys through a baseball around for awhile and I curled up in a blanket at the bottom of the curly slide and just took some time to free my mind. It was awesome.
We soon came to realize that there are no sandy beaches in northern NJ and after making one more stop at SONIC (this time in one of the little parking stop looking menus) we decided to head back to Stony Brook for the night.
It was a nice drive back...though tolls are fucking expensive...and Gabe's GPS led us right through downtown Manhattan. As he whizzed through the NYC traffic and the lights flew by the open windows of the car, I felt like I was in a movie.
I think Henry, Chris and myself all managed to get cozy enough to fall asleep in the backseat and before long we were back in the Sanger parking lot.

It wasn't a birthday filled with cake, cards, and candles...but it was a wonderful day to escape and spend some time with my boys.

Thanks guys, for always being there.

Glow

Glow in the dark puppy.
Seems crazy, but I bet there is a lot of useful ways this can be used in genetic recombination techniques. But even if you don't care about all that geek stuff, it's still pretty neato.

Reflection

Home Sweet Home

Laundry Day

I just threw on my boyfriend's oversized wool sweater, fresh out of the dryer, and it was the perfect clothing choice for this time of the day.
Doing laundry is one of the things at college that serves as a reminder of the fact that we share almost everything here. Bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchens (in most cases), washing machines and dryers. The majority of these things don't ever phase me, but in my fifth year of college and fourth year of living on campus, I've begun to become frustrated with the quality of living I have lately experienced. This is one of the reasons I look forward to getting out of undergrad life.
I haven't had a decent room-mate since Colleen left. Of course she is difficult, near impossible, to compete with as she was and is one of my best friends and the best person I've lived with hands down - but...no one has even come close. Last year I shared my single room and bathroom with a stout South Korean girl who had an unusual obsession with cats, meowed, never left the room, and touched herself while I was less than five feet away. But you know what? I'd take her back in a second because she was harmless. I currently share my space with a petite Indian girl with a sickening pot habit, inability to go to sleep before 4am and who can't seem to keep her side of the room clean no matter what. Oh, and did I mention that her boyfriend has essentially become my third room-mate? He's a hundred times worse.
I vent this here because in reality, I have somehow developed incredible patience towards all of this disorganization and with a mere 4 weeks left in the semester and my time here, I just don't really care about it anymore.

Lots to do today - time to get a move on.

Be your own person.

Livin' the life.

tweenbots

In New York, we are very occupied with getting from one place to another. I wondered: could a human-like object traverse sidewalks and streets along with us, and in so doing, create a narrative about our relationship to space and our willingness to interact with what we find in it? More importantly, how could our actions be seen within a larger context of human connection that emerges from the complexity of the city itself? To answer these questions, I built robots.

Global Warming

The life of a college student.

Comic Life

I've been assigned to make 8-10 comic pages using the computer program Comic Life (designed for MAC, but can be downloaded for PCs as well). I woke up at a resonable time this morning to start getting things done today and I experimented with the software for about 2 hours - it's actually a lot of fun! I'll be posting comic pages for the next week's blog entries. Here is my first one! CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR FULL SIZE COMIC.

Nike has it right.

Stop talking about all the things you should or want to do...and JUST DO IT.

Benjamin Button

What I think is, it’s never too late...or, in my case, too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, start anytime you want...change or stay the same, there aren’t any rules. We can make the best or worst of it...I hope you make the best. I hope you see things that startle you, feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you challenge yourself. I hope you stumble and pick yourself up. I hope you live the life you wanted to...and if you haven’t, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

Voiceless

I lost my voice today.

I never realized how much I liked to talk and how pivotal my voice is to my personality until today.

Now my throat hurts and I have to study for my biochemistry exam this friday until 3am. Goodbye.

Home Stretch

Coming back to Stony Brook after spring break has brought me a new feeling that I never had before throughout college - the next time I move out of my dorm room here on Long Island, I will be a college graduate. I won't ever be moving back in here. With this in mind, I was excited to come back here. One of my good friends and coworkers, Henry, keeps calling it my "last hurrah" and I have definitely noticed myself taking the time this semester to appreciate the amazing people I have met and become close to while here. In the past, I had a difficult time allowing myself to let go once in awhile and pull my head out of my notes and textbooks. I'm still doing well in my classes this semester (and plan to study even harder over the next 5 weeks!) but I feel like a more well-balanced person. I know that graduating college will be similar to graduating high school, and that the majority of relationships made here will be nonexistant or dwindle away after May...BUT I also know that the most important people I developed close ties to here will keep in touch in some way and will be in my life somehow even if it is just an e-mail every now and again or a weekend meetup one time each year. And I'm perfectly okay with that. We all know I don't do well with high-needs friendships. Haha.
So really, all I wanted to spew out of my brain was that I am excited to absorb as much here as I can until May 27th when load up my car at Stony Brook University one last time.

Back on the Island

I made the nine hour quest back to Long Island yesterday...ALL day...
I managed to drag my sad and sleepy butt out of Dan's bed at 6:00am to drive home real quick and catch my dad before he left for work to say my goodbyes. Took me longer than I expected to finish throwing my things into my suitcase and pack my car; meanwhile my mother was busy emptying the water from my fish tank so it would be light enough to carry. I finally gave my mom a hug goodbye at 7:35am and left home. After a quick stop at Tim Horton's (best coffee around, seriously) and filling up my gas tank in Irving at the Indian Reservation, I hopped on the 90 for good.

The drive was long yes, but it wasn't bad at all. I could definitely manage it. And compared to the drive home before break (POURING rain storms the entire drive), it was a piece of cake. I enjoy driving. Alone too. Something about sunshine, open windows and music that clears my mind just a little.

It was a mind blowing thing to get back to school and jet right off to class though - my mind was not all there I'll say that for sure. Haha. My car wasn't even completely unpacked; I basically just brought my fish and tank upstairs to my room as quickly as possible so I could refill it with water and prevent my Romeo from biting the dust. To top off the day, I volunteered myself to be on duty (a 7pm-8:30am committment) and while I can't really complain about it because I asked to do it, being confined in an office for 4 hours didn't help my car cabin fever.

As sad as I was to leave Dan, I hope that it might be one of the last times we have to say goodbye and be 9 hours apart, and I'm glad to be back at school honestly because it's my last hurrah before graduation. Yay run-on sentences.

Support

Local music.

A moment of Zen.

My advice to anyone reading this: Take 15 minutes of your time to just lay somewhere, close your eyes and free your mind. You'd be amazed at how good it feels to let go.

When privacy becomes too exposed...

Came across this article while checking my e-mail and thought it was a funny. Interesting if we think about all the ways our lives are becoming more exposed in this generation. Who knew it would lead to the bathroom too!

Internship Hunting

Although I have recently met with a professor/adviser at college who lifted my spirits and created some optimism in my mind next to my future plans, I still manage to feel overwhelmed when I start hunting for internships. I printed out a list of 5 potential places that are looking for employment for the summer, but I am not really passionate about any of them at this time. Meanwhile, due to the help of a friend rather than any sort of direction from the supposed "Career Center" at school, I have now bookmarked a website with an extensive list of science related summer research opportunities; exciting at first until I realized all of the deadlines for summer ended somewhere between January and March.
I'm spending a good number of hours during this week off of classes editing my resume and finding contacts so that I may send my information and interests via email as soon as possible to companies/organizations directly in hopes that I can get my hands on something worthwhile...I just fear that summer is approaching too quickly and that I have once again waited too long. I'm trying to stay hopeful though - I'll do anything to avoid working a crappy part time, dead end job this summer. No more Applebees pleaseeeee.

WTF indeed.

If you don't know what a "Snuggie" is, be glad you haven't been subjected to the sorry excuse of a product that our society has pumped out. Furthermore, be glad you haven't crossed paths with the sad advertising attempt to make this stupid product marketable. DOWN WITH THE SNUGGIE!

I found a sour patch kid in my back pocket today

Today I sat down to write an entry in my blogging page. Jaws smiled softly in my direction, a gentle act of recognition on the part of a fish I have kept in a small tank for nearly two years. The bond I have developed with this yellow denizen of the water goes beyond the usual camaraderie betwixt woman and fish. I feel as though sometimes Jaws can read my thoughts. His reactions to my moods and emotions betray a far greater intelligence than most perscribe to his species.
I am wearing my pink sunglasses as I type this. A phone vibrates in my pocket, and I am called away from this reminiscence to answer the pleas of friends. Later days, bucko.

One of the boys.

I was undoubtedly a tomboy until about ninth grade. Even then, it wasn't until I had my first real relationship with a boy that I saw myself morphing into a young lady.

By college, I had found an enjoyment in shoe-shopping, wore some kind of makeup nearly every day, and loved an excuse to get all dressed up. I had always held onto my boyish attitude however - the laid back personality, adventurous nature, blunt and sarcastic sense of humor and willingness to talk about just about anything. Don't get me wrong, I still have my most feminine moments. They make their appearances most often in romantic situations or around spiders and other creepy crawly insects (Go ahead and call me a baby...). As an only child, I don't really know why I started out as such a rough and tumble little girl, but I do recognize that half of my best friends during high school were boys and the other half of girls were just tomboyish and punky as me...or was it the other way around? In addition, and you may disagree with this influence at first, I think that the 14+ years that I spent in an ice rink for figure skating practice played a major role too. While you may find it odd that a sport with such a "graceful" and "feminine" reputation may play a part in my tomboyish teenage life, what you don't know is the behind the scenes events of a figure skater at practice or running around her "home rink". Sure, my closest friends at the rink were girls, but when you spend hours on end day in and day out in the same place with the same people, the boys around you start to rub off too. I have so many memories of all of us causing trouble and getting dirty (get your minds out of the gutter pleaaaaseee) with the boys.

The reason I mention all of this is because it was pointed out recently that this very tom-boyish nature that peeks its way out once in awhile may be an attractive characteristic of myself to the males around me. Where is the line between being "one of the boys" and being merely a female friend of a boy - or is there any difference at all? And if it's possible for a girl to really be seen as "one of the boys", is this a quality that males find appealing? Maybe this is an idea that we, as girls, create because we feel that it is so. Thoughts?

Down time.

Spring break is fast approaching and after a stressful start of the week, I could really use a legitimate break. I don't really allow myself much time to relax when I'm at school - though I've been attempting to correct this recipe for mental breakdown this semester as its my last. All the people around me even recognize that I'm a workaholic and for this past Valentine's Day Dan sent me Roller Coaster Tycoon and a short story as outlets to ease my mind.

It's funny because I am a very laid back person and I don't really feel like stress is ever building up until one day it explodes. I think I just choose to ignore it though.

I'm looking forward to catching up on sleep while I am home and spending the majority of my time with Dan at his apartment. I miss my parents too, quite a bit actually, but I know that within 2 days of being in the house again I will want to bang my head against a wall.

I guess I'll leave it at that for now. I'm sure I'll have plenty to write about during break!

Warm weather, but no sun.

I'm driving home for spring break tomorrow and it is supposed to RAIN. Not only rain, and not just a sprinkle, but thunderstorms. The whooooole waaaaayyyyy. Ugh. I was really looking forward to the long drive home this week before I found out it was going to be an annoying rain-stricken commute.
I like driving. Especially when I can hit cruise, roll down the windows and blast my favorite music. In the summer, as I come from a small town in WNY where there isn't always something super duper exciting to do, my friends and I have gotten into the habit of driving for fun. Something about it turns the car into a confessional where we can all just rant about our issues and give advice; nonjudgemental turf. Gas prices are more expensive now of course so this hobby has certainly diminished in its appeal factor...but only because of monetary reasons.
The weather has been warming up though, even if there are going to be thunderstorms. I don't mind the rain when it's warm out. Thunderstorms are cool too. I was just talking about them with a couple friends a few nights ago when we had a brief one here on the island. I don't know what it is about thunder and lightning storms that we find so fascinating. Maybe it's the fact that something so beautiful about nature has the enormous power to fry us like a piece of bacon. You know when you think about it, nature really is awesome.

The Facebook Organism

Short documentary project for my media crit. class regarding the social networking site Facebook.

A Goodfella'

If you've ever watched the popular Scorsese film Goodfellas and wondered whatever happened to Henry Hill (the real life person on which the film's story was based), take a peak at this.

Loganberry

I'd like to share a little piece of Western New York with the world: Aunt Rosie's Loganberry.First of all, the mythical loganberry is REAL. It's actually a hybrid berry - a cross between a raspberry and a blackberry. I didn't actually know what the berries themselves looked like until just now when I google-imaged (it's weird that I just used that as a verb) them. This is what I found!
It's amazing how different two regions within a single state can be. I am reminded of this almost regularly when people say "...must be a Western New York thing..." Of course I knew that long island would be a complete 180 from my small town lifestyle, though in many ways is remarkably similar, and that was the attraction for me to come here. That's a blog of it's own however and the real reason I'm writing this is to shout out to my homebase.
I purchased two 12-packs of Aunt Rosie's Loganberry at the end of winter break in order to have a stash while downstate. I wasn't aware that loganberry "juice" was strictly a WNY thaaang until I did some web browsing about where one is able to buy it. I found numerous posts/responses on Yahoo Answers and random web forums from people who had moved from WNY to other places during their life and deeply miss one of their favorite beverages. Awesome! Turns out, it's a rare jewel in the beverage market! Anyway, I recently gave away my very last can to a new resident that moved onto my floor this past week. I found out through the grapevine that he was from the Buffalo area and immediately knew an adorable way to make him feel welcome. I left the cool can on his desk with a little note reading:
Heard you were from Buffalo. Thought you'd enjoy a little taste of home. Western New Yorkers stick together. Everyone else thinks I'm crazy. -your RA (Mattina)
It was music to my ears to hear how excited he was when he saw it and when his suitemates, all of whom I am friends with, asked "Do people really like that stuff up there?" he replied, "Yeah! Everyone loves loganberry!" Made. My. Night.
Every place has little things that make them special and I know that I didn't even realize them until I left home for a few years. So today, take a moment to find something about where you are from that makes it one of a kind.

Greatest Blog Ever.

I was perusing the interweb this lonely evening in March when I stumbled elegantly upon this.

Book Reccomendation

Everyone seems to have their own stories about how dysfunctional their family is. Whether it's that crazy uncle or the cousin who is in jail or your step mother you haven't talked to in ten years. While we each look at ourselves and think that our lives throw especially obscure circumstances at us, it is a comforting reminder to find that we are in fact not alone.
I wouldn't be surprised to know that the majority of people who may read this have already picked up this book, but if not - DO IT. This title tends to be the most well known of Burroughs' memoirs, however it was the third of his works that I turned the pages of. It was no wonder to me why it was the most popular though. Awesome read.
I personally love Burroughs' style of writing; I think its because it's very reminiscent of my own writing style. Sarcastic and cynical at times, but genuine underneath. I find myself getting caught up so easily in his stories that before I know it hours have gone by.
I recommend this memoir to anyone and I guarantee it will make you look at your own life a little differently. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll let all your friends borrow it. Get off the computer and do some real reading.

Rockstar Boyfriend

Dan is playing his first show with the band since November tonight. It's at a small-town bar near SUNY Fredonia and it's times like these I am jealous of anyone who gets to go out and see them. It's weird to think that I have actually only seen Dan play music in Fredonia (essentially my hometown) once - and it was roughly 4 years ago prior to me even knowing who he was! I am greatly looking forward to seeing him play (and sing) while I am home for spring break. It's somewhere they have never played before too so it's even a new atmosphere.

I know he reads this and he will probably later make fun of me for being a sap but I'm going to say this anyway: I am so proud of him.
One of the biggest things that I find attractive in a guy is passion. I don't mean passion for me (although that does eventually become important!) but a passion for something that isn't me. A love for something that runs deep and drives a person to set great goals for themselves. I myself am an extremely goal oriented person. I think this stemmed from all the competing in figure skating I did for the majority of my life. A person needs to love something for themselves...to find an outlet. Dan always jokes about how I will be the one bringing home the bacon someday, but I think he is more talented than he realizes. We are our own worst critics no? He has nothing to worry about because his good looks and charm will get him far. ; )
I don't know what my future holds...I know what I want it to, but life is a game and you can't see the route you will take to the win. Whatever the outcome of my goals, I will always support Dan in his dreams and passions - I know he will do the same for me, and certainly has thus far.

I guess I just wanted to write this because I feel very lucky to be a part of his life and share all of these musical experiences that he is involved in. He has taught me so much. It's a shame I won't be able to tell him all about the gorey stuff I learn in medical school someday!

Why do we need FICTION?

If our real lives seem good enough to be stories, then why do we all swoon over fiction?

ME: Why do we need fiction?

ME: If our real lives seem like good enough stories, then why do we all love to go see fictional movies, read books...etc?

HENRY: because life sucks

HENRY: fiction allows us to fuel our what-if thinking

Professor Baldwin threw this question at us today in class and i wrote it down in my notebook to think about later. I thought it was interesting because I couldn't come up with an answer to it that felt solid. We all tossed out answers like "it helps spark our creativity", "escape", "make believe is more interesting"...but it all felt so...empty. We are voyeurs. If nothing else, it gives us something to get turned on by. Maybe the answer lies in our dissatisfaction with our own lives. You tell me.

Immortalized

In a drawing. (Artist: Chris Svoboda)

I actually really want to be drawn again. Something more edgy. I like the charcoal though. Any artists willing to volunteer an afternoon to me?

Red

I am going to re-dye my hair red this weekend.
What I really need is a haircut, but that's not going to happen for another week and a half when I go home for spring break. I mean I've got a lot of hair to work with so it's not like it's a huge risk to get it cut at an irregular location...if someone messed up you probably wouldn't even notice...but I figure I might as well just wait at this point. I could use a visual change though.

More excitedly, my parents had gotten me a gift certificate for a spa at home for Christmas and I am hoping that I can get a massage scheduled during the nine days that I'll be back in town. I have only gotten one once in my life by a professional and that was nearly four years ago! (Time really does fly by the way.) I could use a little bit of pampering; certainly don't allow that for myself normally. The spring break countdown has begun!

BLOGS

Hello???
Is anyone out there?
Am I talking to myself??

Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like I'm spending a good portion of my evenings ranting and blabbing to no one other than this white text box and myself. Do a lot of people feel this way? I mean, I actually had created a blog on my own at one time but this time around it's for a class. My motivation is sometimes lacking and the content on some days is less thought provoking than others. What's the point? I have started to find it increasingly difficult to find things to write about - am I trying to hard? Trying to dig deep for something when there are plenty of flowers right on the surface ready to picked? Needless to say my brain generally feels like it's going to implode whenever I log onto this site and I need to figure out a way to keep the meaningful thoughts flowing out of my head and through my fingers.

Breakdown of our legal system in the midst of a digital generation.

This was kinda interesting and something that never crossed my mind.

As Jurors Turn to Web, Mistrials Are Popping Up

fiction film brainstorming 2

Just wanted to throw down a quick thought I had yesterday about the fiction film. I think that if I follow the concept for the failed personal ads that I wrote about earlier, I want to film shots of the character's body and actions but never showing their faces until the very very end of the film...like the last shot and then a fade out. I was thinking about cinematography that I like during my film class yesterday afternoon and I realized that close ups of fragments of the body or disjointed action really captures me and I think I wanna try playing around with that. I think that if I just capture some shots scanning the subject I can just chop it up after and mess around with it. I might even try taking some photos to use as stills or something. Okay that's all!

Live Music

It brings perfect strangers together.
I've had quite a hankering to get myself to a show with some friends and just let go for a night. Last semester I had one of the best nights when I discovered a free As Tall As Lions show at SUNY Purchase later that week. I was torn over whether or not to make the 2-3 hr drive to see them (I had already seen them once before and they are one of the best bands I have seen live)...But after finding a couple people who were interested in carpooling and splitting gas money I said "let's just do it!"
Let's do it again!

Here are a few shots I took from the show at SUNY Purchase.

A Google glimpse into my past...

I'm Mattina Alonge.
Google my name.
Do it.

Admit it.

Society of Voyeurs

Check it. We're all a little crazy in the head, no?

The Birds and the Bees

No, I'm not going to write some sappy mush about love. I'm going to complain that Spring is taking too long to show its sunshiney face.

The weather is finally starting to look up from the doom and gloom of gray clouds and rainshowers. It's somewhere around 43 degrees today according to weather.com but it feels a million times nicer with the sun shining and birds singing. Apparently it was the first day of Spring this past weekend (March 20th) and perhaps Mother Nature is finally putting down the pint of Ben & Jerry's she was using to drown away her sorrows and is going to get off her butt and radiate some warmth. Winter is over.

Most of all I can't wait for summer. I get excited for beach weather each year around this time and it's all I can think about. Bikinis and tan lines - yesssss please. Bare feet and good books. Love it. Summer is a little bit of therapy. And we can't forget about Danny! It's about the only time during the year (at least for the past 3 years) that I really get to see him on a regular basis and that we have the time to adventure.

Dear Mother Nature,
I want a tan soon. Help a sista' out.
Sincerely, Mattina

Mental Health Benefits of Good Company

Friends are an important part of anyone's life. I find it very difficult to believe that a person can be completely happy and feel fulfilled in solitude. It's a cliche that is truly beaten into the ground but genuinely good company is indeed hard to find. In my last semester of college, I have gone through a few groups of close friends. They come and go, we all move on a little bit and develop new connections while holding onto some of the more meaningful old ones. During this past year however, I feel as though I've really made some of the most sincere connections with people here. I think that in being forced to step out of the comfort of the best friends that I had my first couple years here, I was allowed to do my own soul searching and make friends that were rooted deeply in my own personal connections rather than through others.
I'm writing this because I've recently been reminded of how vital taking the time to enjoy the company of others is to maintaining my sanity in this crazy, mixed up college bubble. I need people in my life; people that mean something to me. I don't need adventure all the time either. There is something so therapeutic about laying on a couch surrounded by people I love talking about life and our issues and making fun of each other. I'm really doing my best to allow myself this time to breathe because I felt the results of not doing at the end of last semester. So much frustration built up inside me that I broke down. I had no outlet and rather than admitting to myself that I am human, flawed and in need of a shoulder to lean on once in awhile, I pretended that I was always okay. I have some amazing friendships in my life right now and I value every moment that I spend with them - I hope they know it.

Zzzzz's

Sleep deprivation.

It's my best friend and my worst enemy, and I'm sure that the majority of college students can relate to that. Someone said to me the other day that it's funny how we are trained during our whole early childhood, elementary, middle and high school years as well, that we must wake up early; that this is how the real world is. Then we are shipped off to college to fend for ourselves and suddenly I find myself awake at 5:00am sitting around with friends doing nothing more than sprawling half passed out in beds singing along to and reminiscing about songs we all used to love in high school over drinks. For the four or five years that we live day in and day out, meandering our tired bodies to and from classes that we may or may not care about, barely awake with coffee in hand - that entire routine gets messed up! I swear that every time I go home for a break from college I end up spending nearly 90% of the time in bed catching up on lost hours of sleep from the semester before.
Now I'm not going to pretend like I don't enjoy staying up late. I have some of the most fun in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning and it seems like the most deep, meaningful and philosophical conversations are only sparked when everyone's eyelids want nothing more than to fall heavily. I do think however that sleep is extremely important and I know that no matter how much I push myself to get things done and study for my classes, I will eventually crash and burn if I don't give my mind and body time to rest.
College students are consistently being stretched thin - to the maximum - and I think we all often refuse to acknowledge the times when we need to regain our sanity and take a moment or two for ourselves. Get into it.

The Lovers (Rene Magritte)

My favorite painting to date. Someone buy it for me.

Mom & Dad

I don't have the best relationship with my parents. Don't get me wrong - it's by no means a bad one, but it's something that needs improving. I went through those annoying teenage years where I couldn't stand them, where they asked me how school was and all I could muster up to tell them was "Fine". I grew up a little more through the years and I realized that my parents are actually the most important people in my life. They will always be there for me no matter what I get myself into and will always try to help me as much as they can to achieve the things that I want to. People told me, and tell every teenager, that one day I would grow to really become close to my mother and father and I would mature to appreciate all that they have allowed me to do and given me. And I have. But I'm independent...and more importantly stubborn.

As an only child I was smothered for a good portion of my childhood. It wasn't just about the curfews and strict rules about the places I could hang out and people I could see on my own time, it was rooted somewhere deeper. I found out a few years back that my mother was told she would be unable to have children after her and my dad had been trying for awhile.

Clearly, the doctors were wrong.

I think that when I was born, it was like a "miracle" to my parents because it wasn't supposed to happen. The odds were all against it. Yet there I was. Their baby girl. I remind myself of this a lot because I find myself forgetting how special I am to them and how important they are to me. I know it's a little late for a New Years resolution, but this one is something that will be an ongoing project. I love my parents and I want them to start to really feel it because since I've been away at school and I rarely see them, I have learned to miss them. If I had to give you an average number of times I call/talk to my parents while I'm away it would be something like once every 2 weeks. Crazy huh? Especially when I have friends who talk to their parents daily. I'm independent. I want it that way. I've always taken things on myself and tried to deal with my own issues without anyone's help; I like to test myself and prove to myself that I can do it. No, I don't get homesick being 9 hours away. I don't go running to my mommy or daddy with trivial daily dilemmas. I even prefer to be broke and unable to do things because I don't like asking them for money. But I do miss them every once in awhile. I am twenty three and I want to take steps to become closer to my mom and dad. They keep a lot of things locked up inside of them and I want to understand why they are the way they are just like they want to understand me. All they want is for me to succeed and do what I want for myself. It's an amazing thing to have two people unconditionally by your side.

Now I just have to learn to have patience with them.

Take a film class.

I decided to become a Cinema and Cultural Studies minor at my current university based on the sheer fact that I was planning on staying in school an extra year to complete my major. It seemed like a good opportunity to grab onto an extra little something to add to my resume and I based my choices on things that interested me and didn't require a great deal of credits to attain. Subjects like philosophy and film attracted me because as a biochemistry major I do not get the chance to exercise the more creative, abstract side of my brain as much as I'd like. I landed on CCS because I already had a couple of classes in that direction and after meeting with the advisor of the department, I was sold.

As unenthusiastic as I seem from the above paragraph, I am extremely happy that I made the decision that I did. I will admit, cinema classes are not on the same level of difficulty as I view my science courses, but they are difficult in their own sense and I become a little agitated when my peers act like the major/minor is a joke or waste of time. In fact, I receive more interesting and impressive emails about internship opportunities in the film industry than I do for my biochemistry. I'm getting off track. The point of this blog is to push people to step out of their comfort zones once in awhile and push yourself to learn something you wouldn't ordinarily find yourself examining. I didn't realize how much movies had to offer until I learned to write 2 page scene analysis of a 5 minute piece of an old french new wave film. I didn't realize the amazing strides producers and directors have taken since the birth of cinema. I didn't realize how much we take for granted in the movies we see each weekend today until I took film history and theory. If for no other reason than to fulfill a requirement, fill time in your schedule, or just as something to do one summer when you can't get your part time job at McDonalds back, I encourage you all to take a film course in your life. I promise that if you keep and open mind and push yourself to think creatively, you won't be disappointed.

Personal Ads (idea for fiction film)

So I had this idea while I was listening to the song "Personal" by the band Stars last night and wanted to throw down my thoughts before I forgot them. I was thinking it might be cool to revolve my fiction film project around a failed meeting of two people (a male and female) who have written personal ads looking for someone. Rather than have them meet and fall in love, I could show an unforeseen circumstance preventing one from reaching the other at a set time to meet one another, ultimately shattering the hopes of the other person. Depressing huh? I don't know if I would have enough time to establish this, but additionally I thought it would be interesting if both the male and female characters were coming from some sort of hard or troubled lifestyle prior to seeking companionship...so that the finding of another person would represent a lifestyle change for the better, and failure to do so shows them no other direction than back to what they were before. I don't really want to make a happy-go-lucky film (this probably surprises any of my close friends that may be reading this as I tend to be a very happy person), but I think I would enjoy shooting something dark. I don't know. Just some thoughts on my homework!

Where is music going?

Where is music headed?  I feel like a large number of people are constantly whining about how music is so bad these days, how it's all the same and nothing is original anymore.  I know I certainly do feel this way sometimes too, usually when I forget to bring my ipod with me in the car and I am forced to flick on the radio to whatever station comes in the clearest at my current location.  And it's around that time that I make desperate attempts to scan the FM stations for something better than "Under my umbrella -ella -ella" only to find the same song playing on three other stations.  

My boyfriend is a musician - singer, songwriter, and guitarist to be exact - and it is through him that I have learned and seen a lot of what is involved in the music industry and the song writing process.  (For example, the chorus of a song should be heard within the first 40 seconds of a song to maximize its appeal and "catch".)  He writes rock music, but my mind often wanders to the thought of what the next popular genre will be.  So many people have said before that it is scary to imagine telling our grandkids what we listened to "when we were their age".  I don't know many people who would be excited to pull out an old Lil' Jon CD and play it for them.  It's only a little weird, eh?  

Beyond the music itself, what will be the new wave of music distribution?  I personally haven't purchased a physical CD in over a year (though I'd love to start doing so again).  Funny thing is that I actually prefer to possess a physical copy of the music I own.  And there's something cool about having that little square booklet with the lyrics and random stuff about the artist.  I become a little sad when I realize how little people care about that stuff anymore.  It's all about convenience...like everything else.  Why go to the store when I can download off iTunes in five minutes?  But what happens when your computer crashes and you lose all those digital files of your favorite songs huh?  We are still a materialistic culture, I say that without a doubt.  It's hard not to be when money is such an important part of our society.  However I will go out on a limb and say that the materials that we are becoming more and more attracted to are beoming more and more digital - less and less tangible.  Is it worth all we are making it up to be?

My Older Brother

For the past week or so my boss has been absent from work due to unknown illness.

I know it doesn't seem like much and that maybe it appears odd to even write a blog beginning with that statement, but that's because you don't know Cameron. I remember the first time I met him. The phone calls I received a few weeks prior to moving back into the dorms at the end of summer for my RA position gave me a completely incorrect picture of him in my mind. When I walked into Sanger College and knocked on the RHD office door I did not expect to see a short, little Chilean white guy sitting behind the desk. It didn't take me long to realize that Cameron and I would become close. Both sarcastic, not afraid to be silly or speak our minds, and (after a little bit of research) very close in age.
I never had an older brother and always wanted one. In fact, I don't have any siblings at all and it was not until the past few years that I became jealous of my friends that do. Cameron became that older brother figure for me. He was my boss yes, and he took his job seriously. He did what he had to do when he had to do it whether he wanted to be a tough-ass or not; however I often looked at him differently than that. He took care of me, of all of us. Made us coffee in the morning sometimes, or even a bagel and some bacon. He dropped me off at the airport or picked someone up from the train station late at night. He was real around us - talked about his family, his girlfriend, his past, his future. Cameron is someone I trust more than 95% of people I have ever met and I have only known him for one and a half years. I'd like to think that he has a little place in his heart for me as well - I think so. We both have bigger and better things in our future after we leave this place and I sincerely hope that we remain in each others lives in some way. I don't think it takes an inordinate amount of time to form deep relationships with someone. The roots are important but they don't necessarily have to take years to grow.

Ideas for Fiction Film Project

My next adventure in learning to play around with short film production is a fictional project, about 10 minutes long. I have some ideas but nothing I'm passionate about. Maybe I should start with a genre first...

-music video
-horror
-day in the life of...
-silent film

The silent film idea might be cool...I could just use musical accompaniment through the entire film (the modern kind that is, not the old school piano). As always, volunteers for actors/actresses are much appreciated! : )

Graduation thoughts

I will be graduating this May, starting a new chapter of my life and I have no idea what will be written but you know what? I'm the writer.

I've been looking at the people involved in my life right now a little differently. I have already come to grips with the reality that people will drift in and out of my life through its entirety. Graduating college is really a lot like graduating high school. People have a tendency to think that it's different but I disagree with this. You cannot expect to keep in touch and be best friends and as close as you are with people on a consistent basis your whole life. Everyone changes, priorities change, locations change, lives change. That's living. It's not meant to be stagnant - it's DYNAMIC. We all have a problem with change and maybe that has to do with our animal instinct and primitive nature. We adapt yes, but is that a direction we would choose to go if we didn't have to?

Boston

I jumped on the Long Island Rail Road at 1:19pm last Friday after writing my wrists off during a biochemistry exam that I somehow managed to be 5 minutes late for. My boyfriend's older brother, a newly successful lawyer living in Boston with a quaint two bedroom apartment with roof access, had invited me to spend the weekend there as Dan was coming out this way as a postponed Christmas gift. I never took a bus trip anywhere and I was a little nervous - but excited! It feels good to push myself out of my comfort zone.
I was running on three hours of sleep but didn't feel it. I had frantically packed my lime green backpack and grabbed a coffee from across the train station and jumped on the train to New York City. After arriving in Penn Station and making some phone calls to figure out where to hop on the MEGABUS, I meandered around the hustle and bustle of the station to people watch. I stood in a line for about 20 minutes with about 100 other twenty-somethings sending themselves off to Boston. Awesome.

It was a long, long, loooong ride - but for 30 bucks round trip who can complain - but I can't even describe the butterflies in my stomach when I saw Dan from across South Station. I forgot everything else.

Interview Thoughts

I took about 3 hours out of my day yesterday to devote some serious time to working on my documentary film project for class. I have already brainstormed a bit in this blog regarding my concept of the Facebook organism and I think it's a pretty cool idea. Anyway, I just wanted to throw out some thoughts after talking and filming a bunch of my peers last night. I got about 30 minutes of footage total which will give me a lot to sift through to pick and choose what questions, responses, facial expressions, anecdotes and whatever else I captured to use.

I am going to do some filming today as far as creating some diagrams and figures to intercut into my film. I jumped onto google and looked for images and diagrams of the human body, skeletal system and heart that I am considering using to support my examination of Facebook as a living organism. More to come!

The long lost friend.

It's always an amusing circumstance to get in touch with someone you have not seen or spoken to in years. If there is one reason to be pleased about the growth of digital networking communities and the social medium presented to us in this generation, it's the ability to FIND (as well as be FOUND) by people. These people come in all forms:
-the guy who never talked to you in high school
-the ex boyfriends/girlfriends
-extended relatives
-old best friends
-people you worked with at that one summer job
and then some.
But this is all stuff you already are familiar with I imagine, as many people are. You might even fall into one of the above categories for someone else. I bring it up because I want to draw a line. There is a gigantic difference between clicking "Request to Add Friend" on Facebook, and a face-to-face run in by chance or time to catch up over coffee/drinks. How has the meaning of "keep in touch" changed? Social media makes it so EASY...but equally, if not more, impersonal. As a twenty-something college student who moved 9 hours from her hometown and transferred colleges in the midst of it all, I have done my fair share of "keeping in touch". Yet it often feels meaningless. I was reminded of the glaring contrast of online interactions and those conducted in person while home for winter break this past January. While out downtown with a good friend, I met up with someone I haven't actually seen since my first year of college about four and a half years ago. It was bizarre. Pleasant, but bizarre. Real. Nothing can ever satifyingly replace reality.

Rain, Rain Go Away

It rained today. It rained so much that I finally gave in and purchased an overpriced, twelve dollar umbrella from the campus convenient store. I don't know why an institution that snatches thousands of dollars every year (and rising!) sees the need to charge an obscene amount of money for mundane items like shampoo or umbrellas, but they do.
Our environment is very influential on our moods, but it's funny how weather patterns one day induce one feeling, while another day it becomes something completely different. A blizzard on Christmas morning is ideal, and when it comes to school snow days there is nothing more satisfying. A wintery wonderland while attempting to make an eight hour drive home is less than exciting however. Same holds true for the rain. I love rainy Sundays. Sunday has the wonderful reputation for being lazy and I love the ambiance of pitter-pattering rain drops on my window while I am inside with my nose in a book snuggled up in pajamas and moccasins. Today I didn't like the rain. Stranded in my wet walk from class to class all morning without a hat or hood...I didn't even have proper footwear on! Silly me. I think I'm going to get into the habit of checking the weather each morning.

Drug of choice.

Everyone has their own addiction right?

It is not an exaggeration that I get accused of being a caffeine-addict nearly once every day. This s not true. (Yes, I know that's what a real addict would say but TRUST ME.) I drink coffee rarely when I am not at college. In the summer, I go weeks at a time without it. But there is something comforting about sitting in an oversized armchair or sofa, curled up in a blanket or in a comfy hooded sweatshirt with a hot cup of joe. Some people have comfort foods; mashed potatoes, a pint of Ben & Jerry's, mac n cheese. Well I have a comfort beverage. So sue me.
My next big ticket item that will be on my christmas list next year is an espresso machine. I asked for one this year but decided I wanted a sexy leather jacket instead. (I don't have a place for an espresso machine...) I love to make my own coffee, it's like therapy. For 15 minutes out of my day all I am thinking about is how many scoops of coffee and which flavor creamer I am going to use. I know that I should be careful and monitor the amount of caffeine I actually consume to avoid future problems, but right now that's just not a priority. I don't really drink anything else with caffeine in it anyway; totally not a soda person. And hey, it could be worse. At least I'm not doing heroin.

The Facebook Organism

I've been tossing around ideas for my documentary film project and I think I finally found an interesting direction to follow! I'm going to look at Facebook, one of the most popular social networking websites in this generation, as a living organism. Pretty whacko huh? I know. Here are some of my thoughts:
-We, the individual people/users of Facebook are the individual cells that make up the Facebook community
-Mutations occur within Facebook...Do these happen randomly as in nature or are they induced by some outside force?
-Facebook can evolve...Does this happen by the evolution of the individual cells first, or does the organism evolve causing a change in its component parts?
-What is the relationship between cells? How has the growth of Facebook changed people's perceptions of interpersonal relationships?
-How does communication occur between cells? How has Facebook changed people's ideas about communication?
-What is the purpose of the Facebook organism?
-How can we define lifespan in this scenario, and do the cells have a limited time in the organism too?
-What is the "heart" of facebook...the thing that keeps it "alive"?
I'm going to try and physically map out a scheme of my ideas tonight so I can start getting some footage to use in the short film and start talking to people about these questions. We'll see what happens from there!

I think I'm going to start an art project...

There was a time when I wanted to be an art teacher. I think I was somewhere around ten years old and I thought it would be just so neat to be able to "play" all day and make cool things. I would certainly call myself a creative person now, however I do feel like a large portion of my ability to think outside the box has been lost due to the past 5 years of studying science. Yes, it's true that scientific thought itself requires a willingness to think abstractly, but it is necessary in a way that challenges ideas and provokes new research on a subject. My fellow RA staff members would also not hesitate to say that I come up with amazing ideas and take things overboard sometimes with the arts and crafts aspect of our job, but I am critical of my work and I am starting to have a burning desire to broaden my artistic horizons.

There has been some art pieces I have seen (paintings and sculptures mainly) that have been of the human body and form, or an abstract representation of it. With an immense fascination with the workings of the human body (hey med schools! pick me!) I am drawn immediately to this sort of artwork. I have even spent some time talking to medical students who have advocated the studying technique of drawing diagrams to help remember anatomy and physiology. In a non-academic sense, I'd like to start a project like this. I used to fill up sketch books as a child, drawing anything in sight, and perhaps I can harness that motivation again to do something cool as an adult. I'm going to take some time to find some images of bones, a heart, maybe muscle and see what I can reproduce on paper with a pencil in hand. A girl needs artwork for her future apartment eventually right? Why not make it myself?

Listen.

(documentary project revisited)

Spent some time surfing the internet for some ideas for the documentary project I need to start filming for this weekend. I want to start talking to people about some various topics so I can start getting ideas from the material I collect. Found some interesting stuff on medicine and the media - check it.

New Media Medicine - "an online Social Network of over 50,000 doctors, medical students and pre-med students. It's like Facebook for medics!"
Will Social Media Medicine Catch On?
How To Steer Clear Of Medical Traps Online
Mass Media and Medicine...

Heart

Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.
Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood!

-Closer


I have a fascination with the heart. It is a tremendously powerful little piece of equipment - Have you ever thought about this? I've never seen a real human heart (one day hopefully if I attend medical school), but I have done dissections of other animals' hearts. Sheep is surprisingly similar in size. When you strip it down and remove it from the body it keeps alive, it's actually jaw-dropping to understand its capabilities. I don't know whether this is sensible, and I know that the heart and its rate is closely monitored and regulated, relying on numerous variables to keep me alive; but beyond that, it really sees simple. I guess I wanted to write a quick blurb about this just to raise awareness in others about the brilliant machines that are our bodies. Take care of it. Love it. We put our hearts on pedestals when we think about love and romance, but where did this even start? What is the association? In reality, shouldn't we start drawing cute doodles of brains around the name of our crushes? The heart deserves recognition, without a doubt, but let's give it the right kind.

*snow

It's amazing how something as simple as a "snow day" can make a twenty-something college student revert back to a kid again.

I spent a good portion of last night wasting away with friends, something I don't do often. The past two years of my undergraduate college career has made me a little jaded, made me hate school just a little bit. I have spent a great majority of my time with my nose in the text books. I have been called a motivational freak, stuck in a motivational bubble. I don't always feel that way, but I certainly try to embody it. I pride myself in my work ethic. I wish that some people found it in them to attempt to do the same, while I envy others for getting by just fine without needing to.

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself that it's okay to let loose once in awhile; in fact, necessary in order to keep sane. I lost my mind a little bit last November because I didn't allow myself the time to breathe. That's not healthy. We need to breathe. I was drowning. I don't think you have to stop and smell the roses, but why not slow down and grab one for yourself to smell as you keep on walking by.

The snow looks beautiful. I will upload some photos.

Love this.

Endless Love? Stony Brook's Arthur Aron Says 'Yes'

By Susan Risoli

Everybody loves somebody sometime. Ask social psychologist and Stony Brook professor of psychology Arthur Aron, who’s spent years looking at how our brains behave when romance comes calling. But even he was surprised by what he discovered recently about finding love — and keeping it.

Q. In your latest study, with Stony Brook doctoral student Bianca Acevedo, you scanned the brains of long-term married couples. Why were you so surprised by what you found?

A. It contradicts what most scientists thought about romantic love lasting over time. That possibility was in doubt. Even when couples self-reported still being “in love” with their partners, we chalked it up to data error, or to people kidding themselves, or kidding us.

But we scanned the brains of people who had been married an average of 21 years. And we saw that feelings of long-term romantic love activate the same dopamine-rich areas of the brain as early-stage, intense “falling in love.” The only difference was that long-term romantic love does not activate brain regions related to lots of high anxiety and obsession, which is what happens in early-stage love. So the brains are the same, without the anxiety and obsession about the love being reciprocated.

But the intensity is still there. In these long-term couples there are huge amounts of ongoing emotional and physical affection. Some of these people tell us they annoy their friends because they’re so “lovey-dovey.”

Q. Are you saying that true love does exist?

A. If what you mean by “true love” is something intense that lasts, yes. It does look like some people live happily ever after. Our data suggest that it is possible, and it is real.

Q. How can other couples achieve the bliss experienced by the ones you studied?

A. We don’t know yet. That’s the next step for our research: to identify the conditions under which this can happen.

Q. Couldn’t we just give people the chemicals associated with long-term romantic love, to stimulate the areas of the brain associated with lasting partnership?

A. Sure, cocaine would do it. But I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s much better to get the reward from something really positive—that is, being with another person.

Q. Anything else we should know about love?

A. Recently we exactly replicated our previous study of newly-in-love people, only we conducted the new study in China. We kind of glorify passionate love here in America, but most cultures don’t. There’s been considerable question about whether early-stage love is a cultural phenomenon. But even in a drastically different culture, the same areas of the brain lit up under the same conditions, providing strong evidence that passionate love is the same thing in other cultures. We were surprised by that too!

Q. We have to ask: Are you in a long-lasting relationship?

A. My wife and frequent collaborator is Elaine Aron, an eminent researcher and best-selling author. We've been together since we met in Berkeley in 1968.

(http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/aronfeature)

Science is so cool. Get into it.

Twitter is for twits.

Twitter is a waste of time. I don't care that it is designed for cell phone use it sucks. Unless you are a stalker or have no job, classes, or social obligations, I guarantee you can find a better use for your time than checking other people's meaningless "status updates" every fifteen seconds.
I know that our generation is a fine line from addicted to computers and if you even meet someone who doesn't own a cellular telephone there must be something wrong with them, but we have to stop it somewhere. That somewhere should have been Twitter.

If you have never heard of it, and have no idea what I'm referring to, let me explain. I promise it won't take more than a few sentences to cover every aspect. After creating a nutshell-like profile consisting of a photo, name, location, and "bio" (which could really be anything you want), you are presented with a small text box. The purpose of this text box is equivalent to the status aspect of Facebook. If you're unfamiliar with this, basically you get to tell everyone and their mother what you are doing at a given point in time. As if people other than stalkers and losers have time or interest. STUPID.

Check it out. www.twitter.com

People Person

I love people. My friends will often hear me say otherwise, but this is because the exception to my first statement are people who make stupid decisions. I dislike people who make poor life decisions. Overall however, I am often completely amazed by the dynamics of interpersonal relationships (of all kinds) and how each and every human being that I know is different from the next. You will never meet the same person twice and that is an awesome fact. This is why it is wildly entertaining to me that we spend so much time picking up "HOW TO" books on dating and relationships, or combating shyness, or the various other psychological issues that we Homo sapiens are inevitable carriers of. Personally, I think that psychology is a load of bull to begin with...Don't tell my psych friends...but I feel like if you spend enough time self analyzing and talking to your best friends until 5am on a living room couch you may be able to come up with the same diagnosis that a "professional" will offer you. Yes, an alternate point of view is often needed, but is that a skill? Arguable.
I've been learning a lot lately about how people work. I learned a long time ago that there is no universal manual to the human mind and no matter how much you think you know, you can never place a blanket statement over everyone in a certain demographic. I find myself often in a position of supplying advice, and I've started to instead dispense all of this information; that there really isn't any advice, only living. I do think that you can learn a lot from simply observing though. So much can be said in simple body language and a facial expression and I think we often overlook these human characteristics as trivial. Start paying attention to yourself and others.
Have you ever just sat somewhere and people-watched? I would find it hard to believe if the answer to that question was "no". It's human tendency to be curious isn't it? I mean, if that weren't the case, science would have never developed right? We were curious...about EVERYTHING. We needed explanations. So we made them. Maybe people-watching is a science - maybe not. Human interactions are complex and multifaceted and I love to absorb them. Everyone holds something special in them even if they don't know it, and it is this thing that allows them to give something special to the rest of us. Every life is worth living.

I was sitting in an academic building about a week ago studying for an exam I had about 20 minutes later in a nearby lecture hall when this tall stranger approached me out of the blue. I was surrounded by at least 20 other people in the room, maybe more, and he chose me. The first thing he said was "You don't look shy". I wasn't sure how to reply so I laughed and said "No, not generally". He then told me that he and his friend were standing across the room discussing their plan to make our college campus a friendlier, less self-centered atmosphere by attempting to get each and every student to take the time to meet one new person every day. It was all rather absurd, and the last thing on my mind with Cell Biology notes scattered all over my lap, but I listened. It was decided that the best way to start this movement was to recruit all the outgoing, fearless people to do so first so that then once the road was paved, the shy and timid would follow. And somehow, out of a room of 20-40 people, I was decidedly not shy. Amusing. Maybe it's the yellow coat. Of course the people in close proximity to me were also being taken victim to this strangers revolutionary ideas and I could tell by their uncomfortable smiles and fidgeting that they were uncomfortable. I was eating it up. This guy was making my day. Why are people so afraid of human to human interaction?

It all starts with a handshake.

Thoughts on my documentary film project...

So one of my major projects for the media and film criticism class I am taking is to edit and produce a short documentary film regarding a social "friction" - something that we feel is important to us and an issue that exists in our current society and generation.
I started out really overwhelmed by this assignment, though I was also quite excited, and my ideas for a topic have since then been really broad. Initially, I came up with a bunch of ideas about the health care systems in other countries beyond the United States because it is something unfamiliar to me but that I would like to gain an understanding in. While this would be a great idea to pursue during a study abroad experience, it is impractical for a project that I need to put together now for this class. Then I thought about looking at the health care system in Canada (as this is something I am very interested in...I'd like to get into medical school or graduate school there), however again, my ability to make direct contact with people who would be able tp provide me with insights is limited to non-existent. Ultimately, I would really like to make something I can be proud of and talk about my experiences of study in a medical school interview (that I will hopefully one day get). Keeping with the science-related themes, other ideas I have considered have been examining the media's representation of the medical field and health care systems in things like television programs and film as well as how this representation influences the public's knowledge perceptions of medicine/disease. I really like this idea but I feel I need some sort of direction - hopefully I'll be able to talk to Professor Baldwin about my ideas early next week. More to come.

WOAH

Fish With Transparent Head Filmed

Binary Relationships

Recently I've noticed the amount of decision making that we make on a daily basis, whether we realize it or not. When you boil the whole process down, it really comes down to a "yes" or "no" - Do I do this or not? From there, we narrow down our options to help us make an educated choice. Unfortunately this gets complicated. We as independent thinkers with unique personalities do not play simple good guy/bad guy roles in the lives we lead. We want the best of both worlds; we want it all. Of course what more would be left to capture our desire if we could really simple have it "all". That's beside the point.

I feel like this whole entry is going to be extremely vague because I'm kind of just sitting here ranting off thoughts that are in my brain floating around aimlessly without homes. We all have facades don't we? The role we play at our jobs, in classes, with our friends...hopefully most of those, or at least the latter, is real and genuine. Otherwise, what are you doing? I started off talking about decisions because we make the decisions about what faces we are going to put on for each of the roles we play. It's a mushy-smooshy thing though because what happens when things start to cross over? I don't think that it's always possible to pick one thing or the other, or that it's neccessary all the time. There are certainly thing that one should stick to, this should be obvious, but everyone feels the stress of the collision of one world with another.

This has been brought to my attention most in the past year and a half that I have been a Resident Assistant at my university. I am a leader, an authority figure, an advisor, an optimist, a role model. I am a student, overworked and sleep deprived, fueled by caffeine and in need of a little letting loose and relaxation just like everyone else. BALANCE. That's what everyone says right? It's entirely true, I agree, but no one ever says HOW. I love both realms of my life, the public and the private, and I have learned a lot about myself and how other people operate in the process. As I'm finishing up my last semester of my undergraduate college career, I am really making every attempt (or mostly) to enjoy the moments that remain with the people I care about around me here. With that being said, I have been reminded that I not only live the college student life, but I live the job position I hold as well. I guess the take home lesson for right now is that things will inevitably get complicated when worlds collide, but that doesn't mean you can't smooth out the wrinkles and enjoy the end result.

Ambystoma mexicanum

Fascinating isn't it?

This creature is known as the axolotl, originating from the lake underlying Mexico City. Larave of this species do not undergo metamorphosis - hence their freaky deaky appearance - and adults remain aquatic and gilled. He's not a red-head, those are actually external gills.

We as human beings tend to think of ourselves as special, unique organisms. This creature, of course very distantly related to Homo sapiens, is a wonderful example of the non-unique nature of our existence; such a human like face and smile.

As of 2008, these little cutie pies have been near extinction due to extensive urbanization of Mexico City and drainage of their native lake. Non-native fish have also been introduced to areas in which the axolotl is hanging out, consuming their spawn and depriving them of their usual sources of food.

Evolution is really quite amazing when you think about it. Hard to believe that the United States is so completely torn over the matter. Found this in a 2006 article:

I'm sure I'll have more to say about evolution later and I just got a little bit of inspiration from thinking about this to use this topic for my short documentary film for class...

Engagement

The first thing I found out yesterday was that my boyfriend's older brother is now engaged. I think this might be the first time in my life so far that I have been legitmately excited to hear news like this and that I am actually looking forward to a wedding. I'm not insensitive, but they all feel the same to me. I'm not one of those girls who has her dream wedding all planned out, and has since age five, but I am of course looking forward to my own ceremony someday; I just don't want it to be the same-old, same-old.

Peter and Sam's engagement is not a real shocker, though from what I've heard from Dan they did a good job keeping the secret. I can't wait to see them both and congratulate them personally. I've never really gotten close to any of my past boyfriend's siblings before and all of this really made me reflect on the time I have gotten to spend with Peter. I think that it is important to be liked by family of a significant other and I really couldn't feel more at home than I do now with Dan's family. His brother is always supporting my desire to move to Toronto and he'll make comments all the time about Dan moving with me. He took me out to dinner when I went to visit him in New Orleans last Spring due to Dan's ten hour flight delay in Chicago. It's just a tad bit scary to write this, but I really do hope that I will be a part of their close knit family someday. I don't plan ahead, but I do cross my fingers.

Brainstorming Part 2 (grants)

I have already posted once on the topic of my grant-writing assignment, but this is a post to simply bullet six separate ideas I have for subject matter for the grant searching process. Here we go!

- influence of media on medicine
- evolution of digital relationships
- health/biology and medicine's influence on film
- digital music/the future of the music industry
- genetic engineering
- ethics of helping professions

Next step: Locate 6 sources of grants for each on www.cos.com
More to come.

Complexities of the Simple

Simplified pencil-sharpener: Open window (A) and fly kite (B). String (C) lifts small door (D) allowing moths (E) to escape and eat red flannel shirt (F). As weight of shirt becomes less, shoe (G) steps on switch (H) which heats electric iron (I) and burns hole in pants (J). Smoke (K) enters hole in tree (L), smoking out opossum (M) which jumps into basket (N), pulling rope (O) and lifting cage (P), allowing woodpecker (Q) to chew wood from pencil (R), exposing lead. Emergency knife (S) is always handy in case opossum or the woodpecker gets sick and can't work.

By cartoonist Rube Goldberg.

I just discovered this artist while reading my Cell Biology textbook. Thought it was an amusing concept: Taking a simple task and making it dependent on many separate events and tasks. Thought it was a great way to talk about Biology and make someone who may not tend to be interested in such things, see the daunting process as an amazing feat. Something as simple as motion of a single celled organism is dependent on many different variables that when combined and occur successfully, produce the desired goal. Our bodies are amazing, amazing things and I wish more people took the time to allow themselves to be awed rather than abuse that which keeps them walking and talking every day.

Goldberg is well known for these "machines" and his influence can be seen in popular games such as Mousetrap. (I never knew!) Just wanted to share his work and throw out a name to google for those who may be interested. Pretty neat guy. Pretty funny work.

MASHUP

Digital "mashup" = a digital media file containing text, graphics, audio, visual, or animation which modifies existing works creating a derivative work. Digital text mashups, for example, appear every day as blogs and online forums copy and paste digital text in juxtaposition to comment on topics of interest. We also check out video and audio mashups regularly too (what's up Youtube) often juxtaposing commercially produced video clips with popular songs and vice versa. Digital mashups represent a new phase in the re-use of existing works.

Professor Baldwin threw the term "mashup" at us in class a few days ago and I thought I'd do a little web browsing to see what I could find on the topic. Apparently textile industries have been using metallic yarns for many years for decorative purposes, but now "wearable computers" are merging into everyday clothing. The first "conductive fabric" was silk organza, constructed by perpendicular weaving of two threads: one of plain silk, and the other is silk wrapped in thin copper foil. (See below)

Work is being done to integrate circuits, keyboards, and other electronic devices into fabrics. Clothing of the future!

I also read a couple articles that discussed ways that these "smart fabrics" can repel bacteria and monitor physiological signs. Check it.

http://http://www.earthsky.org/radioshows/51431/smart-fabrics-could-repel-bacteria-viruses

http://thefutureofthings.com/news/1017/smart-fabrics-monitor-physiological-signs.html