One of the boys.

I was undoubtedly a tomboy until about ninth grade. Even then, it wasn't until I had my first real relationship with a boy that I saw myself morphing into a young lady.

By college, I had found an enjoyment in shoe-shopping, wore some kind of makeup nearly every day, and loved an excuse to get all dressed up. I had always held onto my boyish attitude however - the laid back personality, adventurous nature, blunt and sarcastic sense of humor and willingness to talk about just about anything. Don't get me wrong, I still have my most feminine moments. They make their appearances most often in romantic situations or around spiders and other creepy crawly insects (Go ahead and call me a baby...). As an only child, I don't really know why I started out as such a rough and tumble little girl, but I do recognize that half of my best friends during high school were boys and the other half of girls were just tomboyish and punky as me...or was it the other way around? In addition, and you may disagree with this influence at first, I think that the 14+ years that I spent in an ice rink for figure skating practice played a major role too. While you may find it odd that a sport with such a "graceful" and "feminine" reputation may play a part in my tomboyish teenage life, what you don't know is the behind the scenes events of a figure skater at practice or running around her "home rink". Sure, my closest friends at the rink were girls, but when you spend hours on end day in and day out in the same place with the same people, the boys around you start to rub off too. I have so many memories of all of us causing trouble and getting dirty (get your minds out of the gutter pleaaaaseee) with the boys.

The reason I mention all of this is because it was pointed out recently that this very tom-boyish nature that peeks its way out once in awhile may be an attractive characteristic of myself to the males around me. Where is the line between being "one of the boys" and being merely a female friend of a boy - or is there any difference at all? And if it's possible for a girl to really be seen as "one of the boys", is this a quality that males find appealing? Maybe this is an idea that we, as girls, create because we feel that it is so. Thoughts?

Mental Health Benefits of Good Company

Friends are an important part of anyone's life. I find it very difficult to believe that a person can be completely happy and feel fulfilled in solitude. It's a cliche that is truly beaten into the ground but genuinely good company is indeed hard to find. In my last semester of college, I have gone through a few groups of close friends. They come and go, we all move on a little bit and develop new connections while holding onto some of the more meaningful old ones. During this past year however, I feel as though I've really made some of the most sincere connections with people here. I think that in being forced to step out of the comfort of the best friends that I had my first couple years here, I was allowed to do my own soul searching and make friends that were rooted deeply in my own personal connections rather than through others.
I'm writing this because I've recently been reminded of how vital taking the time to enjoy the company of others is to maintaining my sanity in this crazy, mixed up college bubble. I need people in my life; people that mean something to me. I don't need adventure all the time either. There is something so therapeutic about laying on a couch surrounded by people I love talking about life and our issues and making fun of each other. I'm really doing my best to allow myself this time to breathe because I felt the results of not doing at the end of last semester. So much frustration built up inside me that I broke down. I had no outlet and rather than admitting to myself that I am human, flawed and in need of a shoulder to lean on once in awhile, I pretended that I was always okay. I have some amazing friendships in my life right now and I value every moment that I spend with them - I hope they know it.

The long lost friend.

It's always an amusing circumstance to get in touch with someone you have not seen or spoken to in years. If there is one reason to be pleased about the growth of digital networking communities and the social medium presented to us in this generation, it's the ability to FIND (as well as be FOUND) by people. These people come in all forms:
-the guy who never talked to you in high school
-the ex boyfriends/girlfriends
-extended relatives
-old best friends
-people you worked with at that one summer job
and then some.
But this is all stuff you already are familiar with I imagine, as many people are. You might even fall into one of the above categories for someone else. I bring it up because I want to draw a line. There is a gigantic difference between clicking "Request to Add Friend" on Facebook, and a face-to-face run in by chance or time to catch up over coffee/drinks. How has the meaning of "keep in touch" changed? Social media makes it so EASY...but equally, if not more, impersonal. As a twenty-something college student who moved 9 hours from her hometown and transferred colleges in the midst of it all, I have done my fair share of "keeping in touch". Yet it often feels meaningless. I was reminded of the glaring contrast of online interactions and those conducted in person while home for winter break this past January. While out downtown with a good friend, I met up with someone I haven't actually seen since my first year of college about four and a half years ago. It was bizarre. Pleasant, but bizarre. Real. Nothing can ever satifyingly replace reality.

People Person

I love people. My friends will often hear me say otherwise, but this is because the exception to my first statement are people who make stupid decisions. I dislike people who make poor life decisions. Overall however, I am often completely amazed by the dynamics of interpersonal relationships (of all kinds) and how each and every human being that I know is different from the next. You will never meet the same person twice and that is an awesome fact. This is why it is wildly entertaining to me that we spend so much time picking up "HOW TO" books on dating and relationships, or combating shyness, or the various other psychological issues that we Homo sapiens are inevitable carriers of. Personally, I think that psychology is a load of bull to begin with...Don't tell my psych friends...but I feel like if you spend enough time self analyzing and talking to your best friends until 5am on a living room couch you may be able to come up with the same diagnosis that a "professional" will offer you. Yes, an alternate point of view is often needed, but is that a skill? Arguable.
I've been learning a lot lately about how people work. I learned a long time ago that there is no universal manual to the human mind and no matter how much you think you know, you can never place a blanket statement over everyone in a certain demographic. I find myself often in a position of supplying advice, and I've started to instead dispense all of this information; that there really isn't any advice, only living. I do think that you can learn a lot from simply observing though. So much can be said in simple body language and a facial expression and I think we often overlook these human characteristics as trivial. Start paying attention to yourself and others.
Have you ever just sat somewhere and people-watched? I would find it hard to believe if the answer to that question was "no". It's human tendency to be curious isn't it? I mean, if that weren't the case, science would have never developed right? We were curious...about EVERYTHING. We needed explanations. So we made them. Maybe people-watching is a science - maybe not. Human interactions are complex and multifaceted and I love to absorb them. Everyone holds something special in them even if they don't know it, and it is this thing that allows them to give something special to the rest of us. Every life is worth living.

I was sitting in an academic building about a week ago studying for an exam I had about 20 minutes later in a nearby lecture hall when this tall stranger approached me out of the blue. I was surrounded by at least 20 other people in the room, maybe more, and he chose me. The first thing he said was "You don't look shy". I wasn't sure how to reply so I laughed and said "No, not generally". He then told me that he and his friend were standing across the room discussing their plan to make our college campus a friendlier, less self-centered atmosphere by attempting to get each and every student to take the time to meet one new person every day. It was all rather absurd, and the last thing on my mind with Cell Biology notes scattered all over my lap, but I listened. It was decided that the best way to start this movement was to recruit all the outgoing, fearless people to do so first so that then once the road was paved, the shy and timid would follow. And somehow, out of a room of 20-40 people, I was decidedly not shy. Amusing. Maybe it's the yellow coat. Of course the people in close proximity to me were also being taken victim to this strangers revolutionary ideas and I could tell by their uncomfortable smiles and fidgeting that they were uncomfortable. I was eating it up. This guy was making my day. Why are people so afraid of human to human interaction?

It all starts with a handshake.