Mom & Dad

I don't have the best relationship with my parents. Don't get me wrong - it's by no means a bad one, but it's something that needs improving. I went through those annoying teenage years where I couldn't stand them, where they asked me how school was and all I could muster up to tell them was "Fine". I grew up a little more through the years and I realized that my parents are actually the most important people in my life. They will always be there for me no matter what I get myself into and will always try to help me as much as they can to achieve the things that I want to. People told me, and tell every teenager, that one day I would grow to really become close to my mother and father and I would mature to appreciate all that they have allowed me to do and given me. And I have. But I'm independent...and more importantly stubborn.

As an only child I was smothered for a good portion of my childhood. It wasn't just about the curfews and strict rules about the places I could hang out and people I could see on my own time, it was rooted somewhere deeper. I found out a few years back that my mother was told she would be unable to have children after her and my dad had been trying for awhile.

Clearly, the doctors were wrong.

I think that when I was born, it was like a "miracle" to my parents because it wasn't supposed to happen. The odds were all against it. Yet there I was. Their baby girl. I remind myself of this a lot because I find myself forgetting how special I am to them and how important they are to me. I know it's a little late for a New Years resolution, but this one is something that will be an ongoing project. I love my parents and I want them to start to really feel it because since I've been away at school and I rarely see them, I have learned to miss them. If I had to give you an average number of times I call/talk to my parents while I'm away it would be something like once every 2 weeks. Crazy huh? Especially when I have friends who talk to their parents daily. I'm independent. I want it that way. I've always taken things on myself and tried to deal with my own issues without anyone's help; I like to test myself and prove to myself that I can do it. No, I don't get homesick being 9 hours away. I don't go running to my mommy or daddy with trivial daily dilemmas. I even prefer to be broke and unable to do things because I don't like asking them for money. But I do miss them every once in awhile. I am twenty three and I want to take steps to become closer to my mom and dad. They keep a lot of things locked up inside of them and I want to understand why they are the way they are just like they want to understand me. All they want is for me to succeed and do what I want for myself. It's an amazing thing to have two people unconditionally by your side.

Now I just have to learn to have patience with them.